Top Ten Reasons Against the Virtual Office

Home OfficeMost people like to talk about the wonders of working from the home, Sam Wang, territory manager for Network Instruments, will be focusing on the less than glorious realities of life in SOHO.

Being in a technology field, working from home is universally accepted. Laptops, high speed Internet from home, VPNs and remote desktop all add up to a full and productive environment. And why not?

You are saving the company the hassle and cost of leasing office space. You are the envy of friends and family alike who have to spend hours in traffic only to sit in cubicles most of their day. You do not have to deal with commuting, dressing appropriately or even bathing regularly for that matter.

But today, after working from home most of my career, I will provide some insight into the horrors of the virtual office.

10. You are your community’s Tech Support. “Hello Neighbor…you’re a ‘Computer Guy’ right? Do you mind looking at my wireless router and PC? I get this blue screen a lot – is that bad?”

9. Your dog keeps barking when your phone rings. Someone get Michael Vick over here.

8. Having no co-workers around for motivation, you play the theme song from Rocky over and over again.

7. Disrespectful Spouse Scenario #1:“Honey, I’m going to go get my nails done and I’m not bringing the kids. Be back soon.”

6. Your conference rooms double as walk-in closets. Or is it the other way around?

5. “Yes, Mr. CIO, I hear the kids screaming…the funny thing is, our executive offices are next to a day-care.”

4. Disrespectful Spouse Scenario #2: “Oh, you are on an important phone call honey? We’ll move the cheerleading rehearsal in the garage then.”

3. You are embarrassed at your manhood for being such a big fan of Oprah.

2. Which is worse? The rude overbearing boss who yells at you or the rude overbearing wife who yells at you? Make it a game. You get double the points if you can get them both to yell at the same time.

1. Your Corporate Office’s primary form of communication to you is Instant Messaging: “Sam, you there?” <pause> “How about now?” <pause> “Sam?” <pause> “Can you talk?” <pause> “Are you busy?” <pause> “SAM!!!” <pause> “ANYONE???”

2 thoughts on “Top Ten Reasons Against the Virtual Office

  1. I would add such things as:

    – Your spouse says that they need you to place recurring or one-time events in your Outlook calendar so that you can plan your business travel schedule around them. Honey, make sure that you are home by 5p every other Thursday because we have the American Heritage Girls meeting or the Home School parenting night.

    – All is wonderfully quiet and peaceful until 3p when the kids come home from School and where is my Spouse to walk outside to the bus, while I’m in the middle of an important web demo or conference call? Now the door bell is ringing and the dogs are going off with your son and the Bus Driver at the door.

    – School is out and you wonder if an Executive office has a rent special or if one of your Partners would allow you to set up shop in return for more leads.

  2. From the wife’s point of view:

    The Top Ten Reasons Why Vuirtual is the Way to Go:

    10. You can get a head start on dinner instead of after a hellish 2 hour commute..(this despite the fact that your husband sits 8 feet away from the oven ALL DAY LONG.)

    9. You eliminate the teeth grinding that is inherent in Seattle traffic

    8. You can have a phone conversation with the clinic without people in the next cubicle knowing about those genital warts

    7. No ironing

    6. No pantyhose

    5. People can’t trap you at your desk with trivail B.S.

    4. You can look like crap if you want to. You can work with that big white zit in the middle of your forehead and who would know?

    3. It’s way easier to “fake it” from home

    2. You don’t spend 3 -4 hours a day taking you life in your hands during the commute

    1. You can watch World Cup or Golf Tourneys while you work.

    Joan Parish
    Project Management Office
    PCCS Inc.

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